I feel like a failure, which has been a common, recurring emotion when it comes to weight loss. I never seem to reach my goal. I have been mentally evaluating what I can do to have more success. This blog is a mission statement of sorts. I hope that by publishing it, I will be more accountable.
Obstacle 1: Being surrounded by non-supportive people
Solution: I need to focus on the people that do support me. The only drawback to that is that I don't get to interact with other people very often. The bright side is that the person I see the most of, James, is the most supportive person I have around me.
Obstacle 2: Lack of motivation
Solution: I'm hoping that by making my goals public, I will be motivated to not look like a schmuck by not making strides towards them.
Obstacle 3: Mommy guilt
Solution: I have no idea. I want to spend as much time as I can with Perrin, especially over the summer. I leave to go running but I have a hard time breaking away to do anything else. I can't really exercise with him around because then I don't get anything done.
Obstacle 4: Unrealistic goals
Solution: I'm trying to focus on what is an attainable goal for myself. I miss the days where working out was my job (talk about multi-tasking). I would love nothing more than to slide back into the size 4 dress I wore to my rehearsal dinner. I feel overwhelmingly guilty for letting myself go from what I used to be to what I am now. However, I don't know that a size 4 is realistic. But, I don't know what would be realistic. I want my pooch to go away. But I don't know that it will after having a baby (and worse, a c-section).
Obstacle 5: Comparison
Solution: There are some things I need to accept. Losing weight is a lot harder now that it was when I was nursing. So, women who are nursing won't be faced with the same task as I am when it comes to losing weight. I can't control genetics either. I'm scientifically bound to certain things on a molecular level. Just like I will never be tall, there are certain characteristics that I can only help to improve rather than eliminate. I don't have the resources that others do. I don't have enough say in the food in my house or the food budget to have the foods I want readily available.
So, I'm hoping that by identifying these obstacles and potential solutions I can get myself back on track. The tough thing is that many of these obstacles involve other people. I can only do my best and hope that it will lead me to success.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Maybe being pregnant would be easier ...
Wow, it's been so long since I've blogged. Well, there are only two things to really catch up on: weight loss and running.
Weight loss - I started Weight Watchers about a month ago. I don't actually go to the meetings, I just follow the points plan. The first two weeks went really well. I lost 3 pounds the first week and 2.5 the second week. Then the third week didn't go so well. I've been really stressed and I took that out in my eating at home. As a result, I gained 1.5 pounds. I attribute that also to the fact that I was about to start my period but the eating didn't help. This week wasn't too much better. In addition to being on my period, it was teacher appreciation week so I had food coming at me from all angles. When I weigh in tomorrow, I'm hoping to have at least stayed the same. I've reflected over what it might have been that really threw me off and I'm ready to start week 5 with a new focus and determination.
Running - I started an actual training program and so my distances have decreased as well as my overall mileage for the week. I've enjoyed it because I've been able to really work on my pace. I skipped my long run this week because I was mentally and physically exhausted. I've been toying around with the idea of doing a 30-week marathon training program which would put me ready for the half marathon I want to do in Ocotber and ready for a full marathon in January. The idea is very daunting but at the same time, it would be an amazing accomplishment.
I've been very discouraged and worn down recently. I can't help but think that it would be easier to just get pregnant and not have to worry about losing weight anymore. Deep down I know that's not the right thing to do (even though I am ready to start working on Baby Stafford #2) because financially we're just not prepared for it.
As usual, I'll just keep pressing on and hopefully I'll reach my goal soon.
Weight loss - I started Weight Watchers about a month ago. I don't actually go to the meetings, I just follow the points plan. The first two weeks went really well. I lost 3 pounds the first week and 2.5 the second week. Then the third week didn't go so well. I've been really stressed and I took that out in my eating at home. As a result, I gained 1.5 pounds. I attribute that also to the fact that I was about to start my period but the eating didn't help. This week wasn't too much better. In addition to being on my period, it was teacher appreciation week so I had food coming at me from all angles. When I weigh in tomorrow, I'm hoping to have at least stayed the same. I've reflected over what it might have been that really threw me off and I'm ready to start week 5 with a new focus and determination.
Running - I started an actual training program and so my distances have decreased as well as my overall mileage for the week. I've enjoyed it because I've been able to really work on my pace. I skipped my long run this week because I was mentally and physically exhausted. I've been toying around with the idea of doing a 30-week marathon training program which would put me ready for the half marathon I want to do in Ocotber and ready for a full marathon in January. The idea is very daunting but at the same time, it would be an amazing accomplishment.
I've been very discouraged and worn down recently. I can't help but think that it would be easier to just get pregnant and not have to worry about losing weight anymore. Deep down I know that's not the right thing to do (even though I am ready to start working on Baby Stafford #2) because financially we're just not prepared for it.
As usual, I'll just keep pressing on and hopefully I'll reach my goal soon.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Ecclesiastes 7:8, 10
"Finishing is better than starting; Patience is better than pride."
"Don't long for "the good old days", this is not wise."
I've been struggling with motivation recently. I gave up desserts for what is known as lent and I gained weight. I've been running at least 3 miles at least three times a week and can't honestly say I've lost any weight. In addition, I've been sleeping horribly and not feeling the greatest recently. The combination of it all has really been getting me down.
Tonight, when I was reading the Bible(gateway.com), I came to Ecclesiastes 7 which begins with a section called "wisdom for life." Boy, is it ever. In this particular week or so, there has been a lot of stress over different things. This passage (v1-v14) really put things in perspective for me. Verse 8 is what jumped out at me, "finishing is better than starting". It's great that I've started my journey to better fitness and health and the goal of a half marathon. But finishing that journey will be even better so I must push on.
"Don't long for "the good old days", this is not wise."
I've been struggling with motivation recently. I gave up desserts for what is known as lent and I gained weight. I've been running at least 3 miles at least three times a week and can't honestly say I've lost any weight. In addition, I've been sleeping horribly and not feeling the greatest recently. The combination of it all has really been getting me down.
Tonight, when I was reading the Bible(gateway.com), I came to Ecclesiastes 7 which begins with a section called "wisdom for life." Boy, is it ever. In this particular week or so, there has been a lot of stress over different things. This passage (v1-v14) really put things in perspective for me. Verse 8 is what jumped out at me, "finishing is better than starting". It's great that I've started my journey to better fitness and health and the goal of a half marathon. But finishing that journey will be even better so I must push on.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Ready to run
Last Saturday I ran 3 miles for probably the first time in my life. I thought I was going to die, but I didn't. And, I even did it several other times this week. I feel so accomplished from one simple thing. As Saturday is coming up again, it's time to add distance, which is always a little scary. But, I'm looking forward to it. I've signed up to do my first official 5K and I'm excited about that. I'm doing it with people from work so in addition to being a personal goal, I get to spend time with my coworkers in a different setting. That's always a treat.
On the other hand, I've really been slacking on the Wii and other things. I let FCAT be my reason for this week. Honestly, it's so mentally taxing that I think it's a reason and not an excuse. So, this week should be better. James has done a great job encouraging me and even giving me a little bit of tough love/reality check. I hope that his encouragement along with my motivation from running starts producing some visible results.
This is where the positive starts to drain out ... I've really been struggling with my body image recently (more than usual). I feel like I've hit a wall and I can't bust it down, no matter what. I've hit a funk where I look at my wedding pictures and wish I could have that version of me back. Being realistic, it would take more than just diet and exercise for me to get back in that shape. However, I do really long for a better looking me, particularly in the abdominal region. As mentioned, James has given me a little tough love - he pointed out that I haven't been doing everything I could to fix it. So, I need to make the change.
Looking ahead: I have a 5K in April and hopefully a sprint triathlon in June. Summer will bring months of training and in the fall I'm hoping to reach my goal of doing a half marathon. I think I'll stick to half marathon distance for a little while before shooting for the big show ... too big of a show for now.
On the other hand, I've really been slacking on the Wii and other things. I let FCAT be my reason for this week. Honestly, it's so mentally taxing that I think it's a reason and not an excuse. So, this week should be better. James has done a great job encouraging me and even giving me a little bit of tough love/reality check. I hope that his encouragement along with my motivation from running starts producing some visible results.
This is where the positive starts to drain out ... I've really been struggling with my body image recently (more than usual). I feel like I've hit a wall and I can't bust it down, no matter what. I've hit a funk where I look at my wedding pictures and wish I could have that version of me back. Being realistic, it would take more than just diet and exercise for me to get back in that shape. However, I do really long for a better looking me, particularly in the abdominal region. As mentioned, James has given me a little tough love - he pointed out that I haven't been doing everything I could to fix it. So, I need to make the change.
Looking ahead: I have a 5K in April and hopefully a sprint triathlon in June. Summer will bring months of training and in the fall I'm hoping to reach my goal of doing a half marathon. I think I'll stick to half marathon distance for a little while before shooting for the big show ... too big of a show for now.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
On a high note
This week was interesting for me fitness wise. I don't remember the last time I was so unmotivated. I just really had no desire to do anything. Wait, I lied, Tuesday morning I was ready to go running when I walked outside and realized that it was raining. Then, 20 mile an hour winds kept me in bed every morning. Then Friday, I felt really convicted about not running all week. I had logged in some good time on the Wii but it's just not the same a running. So, I got up and went. Because I was late getting out, I thought about jsut doing a mile. Then I thought that while I was out, I should at least make it worth it and do 2. Then, if I was going to do 2, why not do the usual 2.5? As I approached the turn around point for 2.5 miles, I thought "what the heck?" and kept going to the traffic light. It turns out that I ran 2.8 Friday morning. I felt pretty good about it but was a little disappointed. I had set a goal a long time ago that I would be able to run three miles by the first week of March.
This morning, the last day of the first week of March, was a milestone for me. With literally 20 bags worth of leaves raked and bagged, I was planning on skipping my run this morning. Then the guilt set in. If I wanted to run a half marathon, I'd have to run more than once a week. Again, I initially thought of making it a short run. Then, I changed my mind. I figured out where to run that would total three miles. The easiest thing to do was to add it at the end of my run. And, I set the timer/pedometer on my iPod to see how long it took. Here's a summary of my run:
Mile 0-0.5: I hate this. Why am I here?
Mile 0.5 - 1.0: I need to suck it up, it's not so bad.
Mile 1.0 - 2.0: WOO-HOO! This is what I'm talking about, I feel great ... except my hip hurts
Mile 2.0-2.25: My hip hurts and my heel ... SUCK IT UP PAIGE, BE A WARRIOR!
Mile 2.25: Did I miss something, did someone stab me in the ribs and I didn't see it? Nope, no blood ... oh, that's a side stitch. I could stop ... don't be a loser, 13 miles is going to be harder than this.
Mile 2.5: Can everyone tell that I'm running bent over to one side? Jones used to tell me to keep going and it will go away ... does my side stitch know that it should be going away? I'm half a mile away ... I'd rather pass out than stop now.
Mile 2.5-2.75: Someone's coming from the opposite direction ... quick, stand up straight and smile. Nope, I can't fake it, this sucks.
Mile 2.75-3: Sure, now the side stitch gets better ... better late than never. Only 10 more houses to pass and it's over.
Mile 3: I DID IT!! I'd like to thank my running shoes for their support in today's venture and my iPod for drowning out the sound of my breathing so I thought I was breathing normally the whole time.
The most surprising part of my run was when I was done, I looked at the timer and I ran 3 miles in 38:30 which figures into about 12:50 a mile. I'm pretty proud of that pace considering how inconsistent I've been the past two weeks.
Not only was today a goal of mine but it meant so much more to me. I was able to look past the different pains I was feeling and keep going. That's pretty symbolic in several ways for me. Plus, it makes me feel a whole new sense of motivation about the half marathon. If I set this goal and reached it, I can reach all of my goals. I'm looking forward to starting my training for the race and seeing how else I amaze myself in the coming months.
This morning, the last day of the first week of March, was a milestone for me. With literally 20 bags worth of leaves raked and bagged, I was planning on skipping my run this morning. Then the guilt set in. If I wanted to run a half marathon, I'd have to run more than once a week. Again, I initially thought of making it a short run. Then, I changed my mind. I figured out where to run that would total three miles. The easiest thing to do was to add it at the end of my run. And, I set the timer/pedometer on my iPod to see how long it took. Here's a summary of my run:
Mile 0-0.5: I hate this. Why am I here?
Mile 0.5 - 1.0: I need to suck it up, it's not so bad.
Mile 1.0 - 2.0: WOO-HOO! This is what I'm talking about, I feel great ... except my hip hurts
Mile 2.0-2.25: My hip hurts and my heel ... SUCK IT UP PAIGE, BE A WARRIOR!
Mile 2.25: Did I miss something, did someone stab me in the ribs and I didn't see it? Nope, no blood ... oh, that's a side stitch. I could stop ... don't be a loser, 13 miles is going to be harder than this.
Mile 2.5: Can everyone tell that I'm running bent over to one side? Jones used to tell me to keep going and it will go away ... does my side stitch know that it should be going away? I'm half a mile away ... I'd rather pass out than stop now.
Mile 2.5-2.75: Someone's coming from the opposite direction ... quick, stand up straight and smile. Nope, I can't fake it, this sucks.
Mile 2.75-3: Sure, now the side stitch gets better ... better late than never. Only 10 more houses to pass and it's over.
Mile 3: I DID IT!! I'd like to thank my running shoes for their support in today's venture and my iPod for drowning out the sound of my breathing so I thought I was breathing normally the whole time.
The most surprising part of my run was when I was done, I looked at the timer and I ran 3 miles in 38:30 which figures into about 12:50 a mile. I'm pretty proud of that pace considering how inconsistent I've been the past two weeks.
Not only was today a goal of mine but it meant so much more to me. I was able to look past the different pains I was feeling and keep going. That's pretty symbolic in several ways for me. Plus, it makes me feel a whole new sense of motivation about the half marathon. If I set this goal and reached it, I can reach all of my goals. I'm looking forward to starting my training for the race and seeing how else I amaze myself in the coming months.
Friday, February 26, 2010
The journey of a thousand miles ...
I decided to start a separate blog to talk about the fitness aspect of my life. I've been told by several people that I'm an inspiration to them because of my dedication to exercising. I felt like maybe I can inspire them even more with a little bit of insight into my experiences.
Let's start with a little bit of background: I graduated from UCF in December of 2005 with a BS degree in Sports and Fitness. I have always enjoyed sports and physical activity. I especially enjoyed being fit. I had my first child in October of 2008. Before then, I was working out consistently trying to lose some birth control induced weight. Like most women, I was concerned with how much weight I was going to gain while pregnant and, even worse, how hard it was going to be to lose it all afterwards.
I was on maternity leave from October through December and returned to work in January of 2009. By this point I had lost about 27 pounds of the 32 I gained. However, the switch from nursing all day to pumping by day, nursing by night caused me to gain back about 7 pounds. I decided at this point that I needed something to help me. Several women at work were doing Weight Watchers and they encouraged me to join them. Since I couldn't afford the real deal, I borrowed materials and got to it. In addition, I was working out 5 days a week after school. By the end of the school year, I had lost all of my baby weight and then an extra 9 pounds.
The summer came and went. Five pounds came and never went. And that's about where I am on my journey to my weight loss goal. I've come to the point where I realize I'll never look the way I did in my wedding pictures (without surgical intervention). But, I can do whatever it takes to be the healthiest person possible. In the end, I think I'll be happier.
Since I'm a goal oriented person, I have set a goal for myself. Sometime in 2010, I want to run a half marathon. I loved running when I was in good enough shape to do it. I started over the summer running less than a mile and now I run about 2.5 when I go. I have a training program picked out and I'm shooting for October to run my first race.
*movie trailer announcer voice* Keep reading to follow me and my journey of what may end up being a thousand miles. What matters the most is that I've taken my first step.
Let's start with a little bit of background: I graduated from UCF in December of 2005 with a BS degree in Sports and Fitness. I have always enjoyed sports and physical activity. I especially enjoyed being fit. I had my first child in October of 2008. Before then, I was working out consistently trying to lose some birth control induced weight. Like most women, I was concerned with how much weight I was going to gain while pregnant and, even worse, how hard it was going to be to lose it all afterwards.
I was on maternity leave from October through December and returned to work in January of 2009. By this point I had lost about 27 pounds of the 32 I gained. However, the switch from nursing all day to pumping by day, nursing by night caused me to gain back about 7 pounds. I decided at this point that I needed something to help me. Several women at work were doing Weight Watchers and they encouraged me to join them. Since I couldn't afford the real deal, I borrowed materials and got to it. In addition, I was working out 5 days a week after school. By the end of the school year, I had lost all of my baby weight and then an extra 9 pounds.
The summer came and went. Five pounds came and never went. And that's about where I am on my journey to my weight loss goal. I've come to the point where I realize I'll never look the way I did in my wedding pictures (without surgical intervention). But, I can do whatever it takes to be the healthiest person possible. In the end, I think I'll be happier.
Since I'm a goal oriented person, I have set a goal for myself. Sometime in 2010, I want to run a half marathon. I loved running when I was in good enough shape to do it. I started over the summer running less than a mile and now I run about 2.5 when I go. I have a training program picked out and I'm shooting for October to run my first race.
*movie trailer announcer voice* Keep reading to follow me and my journey of what may end up being a thousand miles. What matters the most is that I've taken my first step.
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